Objects of Beauty- photographs by Cara Phillips

check out the work of Cara Phillips.

Her "Machine" series is potent and her statement compelling.

attention smokers! soon you will not be allowed to smoke in your own home

Check out Chicago Acting by David Lawrence. It looks like actors will not be able to smoke onstage in Chicago. Thank god the Government is looking after my health!!!! Now if only they wouldn't send me back to Iraq...*

See also the NY Times' article on places that do not allow smoking onstage (I hate that I just had to type "allowed" there): "No Smoking in the Theatre..." (by Zachary Pincus-Roth, published 2.28.07).

Via TheatreForte, posted 1.2.08.

* I am not a soldier, not have I been or will I be sent to Iraq. It is facetious. To make a point. About big government.

charlie brown bah humbugs....right up until the last minute. kid after my own heart.

Follow the link to view video.

God Hates Knees

Via Dooce, posted 11.28.07.

Before we go...What Would Jesus Buy?

Via Available light [theatre], posted 11.20.07.

Irregularity

Not Your Woman will be experiencing a lull due to this project. It's not rigor mortis. Just a stiff nap.

A Little Gem of Defiance -an excerpt: "Here's to you, Jesusa!" by Elena Poniatowska

I suffered through downpours, the heat, and the cold under that little board out there under the eave when I was with the Torreses, because I didn't have anywhere else to go. I didn't want everyone else to know that I was all alone, like a corncob, so I put up with all of it. When Jose came in drunk he'd be nasty to me, he'd say horrible things, so one day I gave it back to him good. He yelled:
- Shut up, you kept whore! What are you doing here?
- I'm not what you said, and if I were, what would it matter to you? It's none of your business. I can make a kite out of my asshole if I feel like it!
- You cover yourself up real good with someone else's gut when you sleep, and that's some kind of blanket!
Then Epiphania pulled him away and made him go insid, but it didn't stop me from wanting to belt him. I said: "You won't be the fist man I've hit where it hurts. I have calluses from all the jerks I've beaten." He shouted:
-Whore!
And thats when I thought: "It's time for me to get out of here, right now." And the next morning I left real early. There was a lot of mattresses that still had to be washed, full of lice, but it was their problem to work things out so the hotel wouldn't get mad.

*****

The following is not really an attempt at a book review, just a few notes and thoughts:

This book reads the whole way through as the excerpt above. Simple and straightforward a woman names Jesusa tells her story about living in Mexico during the Revolution. She lived and marched with the soldiers, became a spiritual medium, worked her ass to the bone to survive and got into many many fights in her young years. She wasn't joking when she said "You won't be the fist man I've hit where it hurts. I have calluses from all the jerks I've beaten", she did literally rip one mans member. It is an incredible look at the life of a woman. While the writing style gets tedious for me, (as i am partial to lyrical musings) I am completely in awe of this woman. Of course I cannot compare my privileged life to hers, but she inspires me to work my ass off, retaliate to any shit I am thrown, and starve if i have to for what i need and want. She makes me want to take life by the balls and swing it around over my head. . . . or at least just approach those damn neighborhood kids that put a dent in my car the other night.

If you are looking for feisty inspiration or just for a new book, and like character studies (this is fiction based on a real woman the author knew in Mexico) check it out.

I can make a kite out of my asshole if I feel like it!
Beautiful!

Iran cracks down on dress-code, make-up, films....all the vice that's sending us straight to hell.

From the BBC online, 11.12.07., by Frances Harrison. Continue after the jump for the entire document, including a list of moral vices.

Iranian newspapers have printed a list of moral vices that the police are targeting, including wearing make-up and hats instead of headscarves.

The police say they will also suppress "decadent" films, drugs and alcohol.

This year has seen one of the most ferocious crackdowns on un-Islamic behaviour and improper Islamic dress by the authorities for at least a decade.

But it has now emerged the current campaign has the overt backing of the Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.

The police are warning they will deal seriously with any women who dare to wear short trousers, skimpy overcoats or skirts that are revealingly transparent or have slits in them.

Wearing boots instead of full length trousers will not be tolerated, nor will hats instead of headscarves.

Indeed, the police stipulate that small headscarves are out - the scarf must cover a woman's head and neck completely.

The police say they will also clamp down on "decadent" films, drugs, alcohol, extortion and general thuggish behaviour, but it is issues of dress that are given most prominence.

Controversial campaign

In the last six months, tens of thousands of women have been warned or arrested because of their clothes.

During the reformist period, Islamic dress restrictions eased dramatically in Iran, with women wearing bright colours, following Western fashions, and pushing the limits in an attempt to express their individuality.

Some sported strappy, high-heeled sandals with tight three-quarter length trousers, skin-hugging coats at least a size too small, a headscarf perched on the back of their heavily highlighted hair, topped off with large diamond-encrusted sunglasses and matching designer handbag.

But the latest police action has put an end to that kind of dress.

Last week, Ayatollah Khamenei urged the police to keep up their crackdown on social vices, clearly lending his weight to a campaign that has proved controversial.

IRANIAN MORAL VICES...

Terrorising people by quarrelling and feuding in public

Women failing to cover up in a suitable way, such as wearing short trousers revealing the leg, hats instead of scarves, small and skinny scarves that do not cover up the head, and make-up that is unconventional and violates public morality

Wearing decadent Western clothes and displaying signs and insignia of deviant groups

Procuring decadent films

Procuring drugs and alcohol

Source: E'temad newspaper

Book Sense

In case you don't know (like I didn't)...

BookSense.com is a family of independent-bookseller websites. (And it's the e-commerce arm of the American Booksellers Association's Book Sense program.)

When you visit a BookSense.com virtual bookstore, you will experience the knowledge and passion of independent booksellers who share their love of books with their customers and their communities. You'll have access to information and news about local authors, store events, and myriad staff recommendations -- and you will also be presented with content that reflects the collective wisdom of booksellers from all 50 states and Puerto Rico.

Book Sense is a national marketing campaign on behalf of the independent bookstores of America. It is both a local and national effort to shine a light on the knowledge and diversity of independent bookstores, via the Book Sense Bestseller List - now running in more than a dozen newspapers as well as monthly in U.S. News and World Report and on CSPAN - and Book Sense Picks - a monthly selection of eclectic new books chosen by independent booksellers.

Book Sense also offers a gift card welcome at hundreds of participating independent bookstores nationwide! And then there is, of course, BookSense.com.

FIND A STORE WITH BOOKSENSE!

National Novel Writing Month

I'm totally gonna do this. Tonight. Yeah. One night. One novel. Take THAT, National Novel Writing MONTH. Sissies.

National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30.

Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over painstaking craft, NaNoWriMo is a novel-writing program for everyone who has thought fleetingly about writing a novel but has been scared away by the time and effort involved.

Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.



Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that's a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down.

As you spend November writing, you can draw comfort from the fact that, all around the world, other National Novel Writing Month participants are going through the same joys and sorrows of producing the Great Frantic Novel. Wrimos meet throughout the month to offer encouragement, commiseration, and—when the thing is done—the kind of raucous celebrations that tend to frighten animals and small children.

In 2006, we had over 79,000 participants. Nearly 13,000 of them crossed the 50k finish line by the midnight deadline, entering into the annals of NaNoWriMo superstardom forever. They started the month as auto mechanics, out-of-work actors, and middle school English teachers. They walked away novelists.

So, to recap:

What: Writing one 50,000-word novel from scratch in a month's time.

Who: You! We can't do this unless we have some other people trying it as well. Let's write laughably awful yet lengthy prose together.

Why: The reasons are endless! To actively participate in one of our era's most enchanting art forms! To write without having to obsess over quality. To be able to make obscure references to passages from our novels at parties. To be able to mock real novelists who dawdle on and on, taking far longer than 30 days to produce their work.

When: Sign-ups begin October 1, 2007. Writing begins November 1. To be added to the official list of winners, you must reach the 50,000-word mark by November 30 at midnight. Once your novel has been verified by our web-based team of robotic word counters, the partying begins.

Still confused? Just visit the How NaNoWriMo Works page!

The Museum of Jurassic Technology

Via Jae, who calls this a "hidden gem." It's a bit confusing to understand what this thing is, exactly...I'm getting the idea that it's a museum of curiosities, in the vein of 18th/19th C museums, pre-Barnum (the website alone is fascinating). Whatever it is, I'm loving it. (Museum of Jurassic Technology) Continues after the jump.

The Museum of Jurassic Technology in Los Angeles, California is an educational institution dedicated to the advancement of knowledge and the public appreciation of the Lower Jurassic.

(right) Micromosaics of Henry Dalton Henry Dalton was born in 1829 in Bury St.Edmunds, England, where his father was a prominent physician. Growing up with a passion for science, young Henry was drawn especially to microscopy which was enjoying modest popularity among the lay public at the time. By his mid-thirties, Dalton was well-skilled as a micrographer and had gained renown among European naturalists for his intricate preparations constructed entirely from diatoms and the scales of butterfly wings. Contracting tuberculosis in 1863, Dalton began a period of extensive Continental travels in an effort to improve his flagging health - travels which served to increased his reputation as a master craftsman.
In addition to creating his micromosaics, Dalton took great joy in instructing young micrographers in the ways of preparing mounted slides, and was known for his generosity with time and enthusiasm. Eventually, Dalton settled in France where he inexplicably changed his name to "Harold" while maintaining his ardor for microscopy until his death at age 82.

The microscopic creations of Henry Dalton were the fruit of extraordinary skill, remarkable patience and a keen aesthetic eye. After devising a design, Dalton would collect numerous butterfly wings of multiple species from all over the world. Carefully striping off individual scales with a needle, each scale was then sorted by color, size, and shape creating a extensive palette. Boar bristle in hand, Dalton would then transfer each scale to the slide. Positioning a scale was a laborious task, one that required the use of a microscope and a small tube through which he would breathe to gently move each scale over the glass to its appointed position. Once in place, Dalton would crush a small tiny spot of the scale against the slide, allowing internal oils to act as a natural adhesive. Many of Dalton's remarkable micromosaic preparations would require as many as one thousand individual scales.

Candid: The Stripper Workout

Jennifer posts on Jezebel about her experience with the stripper workout (10.17.07)...

Stiffed

I've been reading Susan Faludi's Stiffed (1999), which in its early pages anthropologically examines gender violence. I recommend the book highly.

Following is Sue Halpern's interview with Faludi for the Sept/Oct 99 Mother Jones. You can also read about Stiffed in the NY Times article by Michiko Kakutani from 9.28.99 (excerpts following the interview).

When Susan Faludi published Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women in 1992, the moment seemed ripe for a feminist revival. Bill Clinton had been elected, essentially, by women; Anita Hill had outed Clarence Thomas and sparked a national discussion on sexual harassment and gender inequality in the workplace; and Washington had hosted the largest pro-choice rally ever assembled. Meanwhile, Faludi's book, which investigated the myths of women's improving economic and social lives, crested the best-seller lists for almost nine months. Faludi herself became something of a cultural icon -- a professional feminist, pictured on the cover of Time, next to that other cultural icon, Gloria Steinem. But Faludi has always been, above all, a journalist -- in 1991 she won a Pulitzer Prize for labor reporting for the Wall Street Journal -- who's unable to resist a good story when she sees one. In the early 1990s, the stories she saw had mainly to do with men's anger and confusion. She started hanging out at job clubs and Promise Keepers rallies and in Marine recruiting stations and locker rooms. She spent time with male porn stars and cadets at The Citadel. Faludi began to see patterns emerging from these stories. Her new book, Stiffed: The Betrayal of the American Man, will be published in October by William Morrow & Co.

Your new book, Stiffed, is about men and the culture of masculinity. Why did you call it that?

It actually came out of an interview on a talk-radio sports show. I was in the studio, observing the program, and the host had run out of things to say, so he put me on and asked me to describe my book. He asked me what I was going to call it, and I said that I didn't know. Then the next caller said, "You should call it either Stiffed or Shafted." So I did.

But isn't the title a little ... loaded?

People tend to have one of three reactions when they hear it. They either cringe, they laugh, or they say, "Perfect!" To me it has three meanings: working stiff; the ways guys have been cheated by this society; and the fact that men are supposed to be stiff -- that they have to show their armored self to the world all the time. Having to do that hurts them as much as it hurts everyone else.

So what's a good feminist like you doing writing sympathetically about men?

I don't see how you can be a feminist and not think about men. One of the gross misconceptions about feminism is that it's only about women. But in order for women to live freely, men have to live freely, too. Feminism has shown us that what we think of as feminine is actually defined by cultural messages and political agendas. The same holds true for men and for what constitutes masculinity. Being a feminist opens your eyes to the ways men, like women, are imprisoned in cultural stereotypes.

Okay, but we've always been imprisoned in cultural stereotypes, and the stereotypes have seemed to work in men's favor. Are you suggesting that something has changed?

What's changed in the last decade is that you can be honorable and dogged and have high standards, and the culture may just throw you in the garbage. Manhood has been so tied up with doing socially useful work. The kind of money being made now is not about social utility. It's about whether you've got a good financial manager or not. If you're a hard worker, if you are loyal to the corporation, it's no longer true that you'll be rewarded, or at least honored.

Given that it's a difficult time to be a man, is it a better time to be a woman?

Look, it's hardly a time of great jubilation for anyone. But it's much harder for men in many respects because they have this feeling that women are rising just as men are falling. The truth is, of course, that women are moving from the subbasement to the basement. By any objective measure -- pay, representation in boardrooms, status -- men are still ahead. But psychologically it's much harder to fall than to climb, even if you land at a higher point than those who are just beginning to rise.

But since younger men haven't had that experience, why are they so angry?

It's true that older men have a clearer sense of expectations, of what the deal is, and how it's been broken. Younger men have had no clear guidelines from the start. A lot of their rage comes from that.

Does this begin to explain the massacre at Columbine High School and the other schoolyard -- schoolboy -- shootings?

Columbine seemed consistent, in a very extreme and warped way, with what I was seeing when I researched this book. Here are these young men whose parents were being buoyed by the money culture, yet they did not feel connected to any real society. This massacre is not the act of people who feel connected to a community. Obviously, it doesn't mean that every kid in that situation will act that way.

Why are men so angry when the economy is booming? Didn't white man's rage come to the surface at the end of the '80s, when unemployment was high and we were shifting to the so-called service economy?

I started the book when the economy was in a recession, which seemed to support the conventional wisdom that the economy and masculinity are related -- that men feel emasculated when their lives as wage earners are threatened. But I found that as the economy improved, the men I was talking to were still stricken with a sense that they had been betrayed, and that the betrayal went much deeper than a paycheck. It had to do with loyalty and a social pact that they had been led to believe was bedrock and part of being a man. It had to do with work, with the relationship between men and their community, and even with the sense that they could count on their hometown sports team rewarding their loyalty by staying put. Instead, they saw those teams leave town to chase the biggest money offers somewhere, anywhere, else. And buried much deeper down, it also had to do with the loyalty between fathers and sons.

You mean that older men are angry because their sons have betrayed them, too?

I'd argue against the conventional wisdom that the virtuous fathers delivered the world to their sons on a silver platter and the sons turned around and kicked them in the teeth. Almost the reverse happened. The fathers who came out of World War II and the Depression generation were supposed to hand off positions of leadership to their sons. Instead, they handed off a consumer culture that focused on money, on winning, and on dominating everything and everyone. So who betrayed whom? Consumerism slayed both generations. It co-opted everyone, and left the fathers as flat-footed as the sons. We are now living in a culture that runs on image. How you look matters more than ever. Appearing youthful matters.

So men are upset about the same thing their feminist wives and girlfriends and daughters have been upset about -- that they are judged on how they look. And they're obsessed about it too?

Eating disorders are on the rise in young men, which says something. And the other day, when I was getting my hair cut, the woman who was doing it told me that she's noticed that men are hysterical about their hair these days. They tell her that they're worried that if they lose their hair they won't get a woman. Which, ironically, is just the same thing that women have always said -- that if they're not thin or sexy or pretty enough they won't find a man.

Given men's current preoccupation with their looks, does feminism have things to teach men?

The feminist diagnosis, especially from second-wave feminists like Betty Friedan in The Feminine Mystique, has remarkable relevance to the male dilemma. The truth is that what feminism is asking for is exactly what men want in their own lives, which is not to be judged according to superficial and ephemeral and impossible-to-attain objectives. Men don't want to live in a world run on retail values any more than women do. Like women, they want to be needed and useful participants in society. They want to have real utility and to be engaged in meaningful work.

Your feminism has always seemed to come from an analysis of political and economic factors in the culture at large. This seems very different from the feminism of younger women, who focus more on being able to express themselves and achieve individual fulfillment and pleasure.

Younger women were born into a world driven by consumer, ornamental, celebrity values. Even if they don't espouse those values, they're caught up in a world where they are being told that they have to do these star turns -- where they have to appear on the cover of a book with their shirt off, for instance. It's easy to attack women who do that. I didn't grow up with that. The difference between older and younger feminists is how we respond to consumer culture. If you're caught up in it, you're probably not thinking about changing it.

What about the recent idea that it's feminist to choose to embrace what has traditionally been called, and derided as, feminine?

Just because someone wears a push-up bra does not mean she's not a feminist. It doesn't mean she is a feminist, either. It's not about what you wear, or if you use makeup or not. I put on lipstick at times, and at other times I don't. I wear various undergarments. But people who focus on that are missing the whole point, which is what you do in the world. Still, I am reluctant to condemn women who engage in this new brand of feminism -- and it probably is a brand by now, with its own trademark -- because it's not their fault. They are trapped in a world where the whole mechanism for social change has gone by the boards.

Are you saying that there is no way to promote social change anymore?

No, I'm saying it's not obvious. These days, everything changes overnight. Nobody knows who is in charge. No one knows who to appeal to. So we need to start at square one and figure out what the forces are and respond to them. It's as if the new culture has eaten up the society like a virus. It's a Philip K. Dick futuristic vision: our lonely selves and our credit cards. Maybe this is how it felt at the beginning of the Industrial Revolution. The 19th century Dickensian world seemed utterly devastating and insurmountable, but eventually social and political analyses did make a difference. Right now, there is no honest discussion going on.

Isn't that what journalists are paid for?

Absolutely. One major factor contributing to the failure to have this discussion about our consumer society is the media. So much of what we are concerned about in this culture -- like, for example, who has the biggest market share -- has been midwifed by the media. And with less and less commentary of any value to people. So much of the cynicism in journalism comes from journalists willfully avoiding what's going on. Everything is working out just fine for them, and they don't want to question anything because then they'd have to question themselves. As journalists, that's one place to start.

And you? Do you see yourself as a journalist, which is how you have described yourself, or an activist, which is how you were cast after Backlash?

I try to throw these ideas out there and pray that others are thinking about them too. My role is as a writer, because that's where I enter public life. For me, being a writer is the best way to be an activist.


'Stiffed': What Has Happened to Men? by Michiko Kakutani excerpts

This didactic and highly simplistic analysis of what Ms. Faludi calls "the American masculinity crisis" has given way in "Stiffed: The Betrayal of the American Man" to a far more nuanced and sympathetic assessment of what has happened to men in the tumultuous decades since World War II. It is Ms. Faludi's contention, laid out in this thoughtful if bloated new book, that many American men feel they have "lost their compass in the world," that compared with their fathers' generation, they feel "less triumphal, less powerful, less confident of making a living."

Although Ms. Faludi writes that she started this book wondering why men were "so disturbed by the prospect of women's independence," she began to see, as her reporting progressed, that the "gender battle was only a surface manifestation of other struggles," that the sources of men's current disillusionment were deeper and more obscure.

She says she put her "prefigured map" aside and gradually reached the conclusion that men's current predicament stems less from economic uncertainties or advancements made by women than from more fundamental changes in the American culture at large, in particular the shift from a traditional society that valued loyalty, team play and the mastery of a vocation to an "ornamental culture" driven by celebrity and image, "a society drained of context, saturated with a competitive individualism that has been robbed of craft or utility, and ruled by commercial values that revolve around who has the most, the best, the biggest, the fastest."

For Ms. Faludi, this media-driven, ornamental culture -- symbolized by Calvin Klein underwear ads and Details magazine -- subjected men to "the conformism, passivity and consumerist mirror-gazing traditionally held to be feminine," redefining masculinity as "something to drape over the body, not draw from inner resources" and manhood as something to be "displayed, not demonstrated."

In laying out this narrative Ms. Faludi has a tendency to repeat herself -- to make the same point over and over again -- and she has a tendency, especially in the second half of the book, to allow her interview subjects to natter on and on and on. But while this volume would have benefited enormously from a strict editing, it nonetheless remains a fair-minded and energetically reported book.

It is a book that eschews the reductive assumptions purveyed by many feminists to put the predicament of the American man (and by implication, the American woman) into a broader cultural context, while showing just how drastically this country has changed during the second half of the 20th century.

The Many Guises of Assault

October 11, College Callgirl posted about sexual assault (The Number is Eight). She lists the assaults she's lived through, and explains that some of them she never considered rape, and some she faulted herself.

This ties to a recent NPR series on women in the military (Women in Combat), where it was noted that the US armed forces' definition of sexual assault is "intentional sexual contact, characterized by use of force, physical threat or abuse of authority or when the victim does not or cannot consent." They also note that:

"Consent" shall not be deemed or construed to mean the failure by the victim to offer physical resistance. Consent is not given when a person uses force, threat of force, coercion or when the victim is asleep, incapacitated, or unconscious.

Circumstances of sexual assault can seem muddy or gray: must the woman say "no?" Must she fight? What if she feels powerless, or feels incapable of disagreeing? It's a difficult topic, made no easier by societal constructs.

College Callgirl does a wonderful job of delineating black and white, and clarifies eloquently. I've also included an excerpt from her following post (Deleted, 10.15.07), regarding comments to this story. THEN, read this article about a Philadelphia judge who convicted three men who raped a prostitute at gunpoint...convicted them to "theft of service," that is. That article was posted in Callgirl's comments section for Deleted.

The Number Is Eight

I have been sexually assaulted more than once. Each time that it happened to me, I felt that extenuating circumstances kept it from truly being rape. I was working as a prostitute, he was my boyfriend, I was drunk, I got in the car. I never believed that I had fought hard enough. I made excuses for the men who hurt me; I told myself "he didn't know what he was doing." When I spoke about my experiences with sexual assault (which I did very rarely), I would say only that “a lot of bad things have happened to me.”

After reading the responses to this post on Jezebel, it occurred to me that I do not know the actual number. I lost track of how many times I had been violated because I did not call them by name. I did not call them by name because I blamed myself. Because I did not name them, I could not fight.

Now I realize that the following occurrences are not hazy or ambiguous. They are assaults, crimes that come to a specific number. No matter what mistakes I made before or after. I have gotten drunk many times. I have had many boyfriends and gotten into many cars. The only times I was raped were when the man I was with was a rapist.

THE LIST:

1. Danny
He was my best friend’s boyfriend, and he took my virginity when I had not yet decided to give it. Still a Christian, I was saving myself for marriage. He took advantage of my crush on him, the fact that I was willing to come over later at night, and the fact that I wanted to kiss him. He ignored me when I said no and I felt ashamed that my inexperienced body responded. I was 13 or maybe 12. He smiled and walked me home afterward, singing songs to “cheer me up” while my bloody underwear was balled up in my pocket. It was the first time a boy ever told me I was beautiful, and I remember the unexpected shock of those words as well as I remember the weight of his arms on mine and the too-hard grind of his teeth against my nipples. When I told his girlfriend, my best friend, what had happened, she did not believe me. I learned my lesson then about rape. It is slippery and hard to see. I decided I had blown the whole thing out of proportion.

2. Matt, Chris, Danny, and others
Matt and I went to school together. After the dismissal bell rang, we would walk over to his house. His friends were older; in their 20s at least. I can’t remember all their names. One day we were all playing around with a pair of handcuffs someone had found. But when I put them on, hands behind my back, no one would give me the key. They circled around me, touching me. One of them offered me a drag of his cigarette, and Matt said, “Don’t give her anything.” I said I had to get home before my parents came home from work. They pulled my top off. Matt said he would let me go after I sucked them all off, starting with Danny. “And no penguin head, either,” he said, meaning that I wasn’t to leave them with their pants around their ankles. I only gave one guy oral sex before they let me go. Not everyone touched me, but none of them stopped it. I blocked this entire incident out of my memory for a year or two, until one day it came rushing back to me.

3. Chris
I was 14 and he was 21. I believed him to be my boyfriend, and only a decade later understood that our age difference meant I had been molested. When I was not in the mood to have sex, he would rape me. Once he raped me in front of a friend, who did nothing to stop it.

4. Robb
He may be the most evil person I’ve ever met. I was 16 and he was 28; we met online and I secretly made the hour and a half drive to spend the night with him. We began dating, although he refused to be monogamous, even having me drop him off at other women’s houses. One day I cut school, came over, and we fucked all day. Halfway through he started slapping me. We had played this game before, but he took it too far. I began to plead with him and he hit me harder. I said no, and he fastened his hands around my neck and choked me with eyes that looked cold. I believed he was going to kill me when I passed out. I came to and he was raping my ass instead. Afterward he told me, “The fear in your eyes made me want to cum and cry at the same time.” I went to school the next day with bruises on my jaw and broken blood vessels on my neck.

5. Dan
I also met him online and came over to his house. I was a teenager and he was an adult, and I now realize, a predator. At the time I just thought we were on a date. Instead he held me down and fucked me while I struggled. When he came he pushed my head down so far on his dick I choked. I wondered why he never called me again.

6. ?
I don’t know his name. I was working as a prostitute when he raped me. I consented to vaginal sex with him and he forced me into anal sex. He put a belt around my neck. “Shh,” he told me. “You’ll like it. Kiss me, relax.” He paid me. I left.

7. Chris
I drunkenly came home with him. Two other girls came too. My head was drooping as they all chattered in the living room. I went to the bathroom and threw up, then stumbled down the hall and passed out on his bed. I woke up with him on top of me. I would see him out afterward, talking to other drunk girls. I always pulled them aside and told them that he had date-raped me, so I’m probably not his favorite person. I later found out he is a high-school teacher.

8. ?
I was leaving an event I had organized. It should have been my moment of celebration. I was drunk, had probably had a line of cocaine, and thought taking a cab home was the safe option. The driver talked me into the front seat with a lame excuse about how he wanted to read my palm. Then he put his hands down my shirt, up my skirt. He told me he could tell I would be “heavy” someday. I said “No, stop.” He drove down dark alleyways touching me, looking for a place to pull over. I begged him to take me home, and finally he did. I didn’t pay.


I didn’t press charges any of these times. Some of them I didn’t even tell anyone about. I am posting this not to revel in my bad experiences, but to show that the real circumstances of real rape don’t always look like we think they should. Rapists are not just evil men who jump out of the bushes. Rape can happen even if you were drunk, even if you stayed still instead of kicking and biting, even if you had an orgasm, even if you liked the guy, even if you had consented to sex with him previously. The lies we are told about what rape silence us. If we aren’t even sure that we have been raped, how can we seek justice?

If all people who have been assaulted would stand up and say, “I have been raped” instead of blaming themselves, more rapists would be punished. So for that reason I am telling all of you that I have been sexually assaulted 8 times. I hope it never happens again, but if it does, I will call it what it is. And I will press charges.

Deleted excerpt

Although I was drunk in only two of those stories and had had one line of cocaine in one of them, many of them said I deserved it for being a "binge drinker" and "cocaine user." Still others believed I deserved it for hanging around with "scumbags" or "going to strange men's houses." And yet for all but 3 of those instances I was under 18. I guess even if you're a CHILD it's your fault if you get assaulted. Just goes to show you how willing many people are to completely twist the a narrative to put the blame on those who are victimized instead of those who perpetrate crimes. It really proves my original point. Telling women it is our fault we have been raped keeps rape from being punished.

Serrano Photographs Destroyed in Sweden

From the NY Times, by Carol Vogel, posted 10.9.07.

A grainy video of four masked vandals running through an art gallery in Sweden, smashing sexually explicit photographs with crowbars and axes to the strain of thundering death-metal music, was posted on YouTube Friday night.

This was no joke or acting stunt. It was what actually happened on a quiet Friday afternoon in Lund, a small university town in southern Sweden where “The History of Sex,” an exhibition of photographs by the New York artist Andres Serrano, had opened two weeks earlier.

Around 3:30, half an hour before closing, four vandals wearing black masks stormed into a space known as the Kulturen Gallery while shouting in Swedish, “We don’t support this,” plus an expletive. They pushed visitors aside, entered a darkened room where some of the photographs were displayed and began smashing the glass protecting the photographs and then hacking away at the prints.

The bumpy video, evidently shot with a hand-held camera by someone who ran into the gallery with the attackers, intersperses images of the Serrano photographs with lettered commentary in Swedish like “This is art?” before showing the vandals at work.

No guards were on duty in the gallery, said Viveca Ohlsson, the show’s curator, although security videos captured much of the incident.

“There was one woman who works at the gallery who tried to stop them until she saw the axes and crowbars,” Ms. Ohlsson said. “These men are dangerous.”

By the time the masked men had finished, half the show — seven 50-by-60-inch photographs, worth some $200,000 over all — had been destroyed. The men left behind leaflets reading, “Against decadence and for a healthier culture.” The fliers listed no name or organization.

“I was shocked and horrified,” Mr. Serrano said in a telephone interview yesterday from New York. “I never expected something like this, especially in this magical town, which is so sweet I joked about it being like something out of Harry Potter.”

Mr. Serrano said he had flown to Sweden for the opening and was met with great enthusiasm by gallery visitors. “The reaction was so positive,” he said. “I could never imagine anything like this happening.”

Officials at the local police station said yesterday that the vandals had not been caught but that they were believed to be part of a neo-Nazi group.

Ms. Ohlsson said the attack was clearly well planned. “We think that they had been at the gallery a few days before,” she said. “They knew where to go.”

The show consists of photographs, made in 1995 and 1996, of various sex acts, including a depiction of a naked woman fondling a stallion. It was divided into two rooms. One had white walls, the other black. The vandals went to the black room, where Ms. Ohlsson said the photographs were a bit racier.

This is not the first time Mr. Serrano’s work has been attacked, physically or in words. In 1989 the National Endowment for the Arts came under fire from conservative politicians and religious groups for helping to finance a $15,000 grant to Mr. Serrano related to past work that included a photograph of a crucifix immersed in urine. A print of that work was attacked and destroyed in 1997 when it was on view at the National Gallery of Art in Melbourne, Australia.

It is not the first time the Kulturen Gallery has seen violence, either. About 10 years ago vandals raced into the gallery and put paint on images by a Swedish photographer.

“The History of Sex” remains on view, but with bolstered security, Ms. Ohlsson said, explaining that the group had threatened on the Internet to attack the show again.

Paula Cooper, Mr. Serrano’s New York dealer, whose gallery in Chelsea exhibited his “History of Sex” photographs in 1997, said she was horrified by the attack in Sweden. “Art inflames people,” she said.

Ms. Cooper said that her gallery was working to replace the destroyed photographs as soon as possible so they could go back on view in Lund. (Mr. Serrano produced each in editions of three.)

After “The History of Sex” closes in Lund in December, it is to travel to the Alingsas Art Museum in Alingsas, Sweden.

Revamping Links...

Cleaning them - the main page will now only hold daily reads. After the jump (and the Full List link top left) will show all links. This will be under construction for a while though - for the time being, all posts are still at left.

NOTABLES Accinoso Another Magazine Arse End of Ireland Breathe Through Your Damn Mouth Bullseye Rooster Confessions of a College Callgirl Dooce Farmgirl The Great She Elephant I'm Not as Nice as I Used to Be I'm sick of your insane demands Jezebel La Coquette Life Gives You Lemons Needled Offbeat Bride Surly Girl UltraGrrrl The Weight. The Freedom. NEWS Arts & Letters Daily BBC FindLaw Int'l Herald Tribune NPR / Slate New Yorker NY Times Salon Village Voice

Archives Artists Cincinnati Crafts & DIY Design & Inspiration Eat & Drink Literary Music Need to Know News Notables Photography Politics Retro Fashion Shopping Specifically Fashion Tattoos Theatre Time Killers Women's News

Sex Advice from Booksellers

From Nerve (Interviews by David Callicott), posted 10.4.07.

Scott Townsend, 26
Strand Book Store, NYC
www.strandbooks.com

Which books do you recommend to improve someone's game in the sack?
Anything by Charles Bukowski. Because you either realize, "Hey, I've really been a pig," or you realize, "Hey, I'd really like to try being a pig." Even something like Allen Ginsberg, regardless of your sexual preference, because of the fiery passion that goes into the writing. It's like, "I want to do this with you and I don't give a shit."

If you think your new girlfriend might have mixed feelings about your stash of porn magazines, do you keep them hidden?
Me, personally? No. I did date a girl who got mad at me for having a Maxim. I wouldn't hide that. But I wouldn't necessarily say, "Hey, what do you want to do tonight? Let's drink some tea and watch porn."

What books or magazines should you have around your house to show your sex appeal to visitors?
Some history or political books, so you look like you actually know what's going on beyond what's in the Us Weeklys laying around the bathroom.

My girlfriend and I only have sex once or twice a week. She thinks that's enough, but I want more. Should I just be grateful for what I get?
Yeah, be grateful for what you get. Then maybe it would be okay that you have a porn stash, so you can fulfill your sexual drive and still get your intimacy. If she doesn't come over one night, take a trip down Club lane. Nothing wrong with that.

What's the secret to good head?
Concentration and delicacy.

Where is the best place for public sex where you live?
I once had sex underneath the stairs of an apartment on Fourth Street. That was pretty awesome. Also, the subways — I've always wanted to do that, but they're never abandoned enough.

I feel like my partner and I have exhausted every possible option for new positions. Any ideas?
Once I was with this girl, and she was basically doing a handstand and I was standing on top, and it was the most amazing thing either of us had ever done up to that point or since. Or pick up something like the Kama Sutra. And if that doesn't work out, just laugh about it and go to bed. Have some ice cream.


Lori Rozycki, 48
Between the Covers, Telluride, Colorado
www.between-the-covers.com

Can working at a bookstore get me laid?
Who doesn't want to date a bookseller? We climb ladders in skirts, and remain slightly aloof.

Sometimes when I'm out with friends, I flirt and don't bring up the fact that I have a girlfriend. I'll let it go as far as possible without cheating. Is this wrong?
Don't be such a baby. What else is there to do when you're out? Nothing wrong with catch-and-release.

I think my new girlfriend might have mixed feelings about my porn stash. How should I let her know about it?
Mix it in with the cookbooks. Then it seems more like a feminine understanding/connection of sorts. What girl doesn't pick up a Playboy in a dude's house and start looking at it? There are other magazines you could have that would frighten me a lot more, like Men's Vogue or Details.

Should men wax?
Yes. And I think they should bleed once a month, and cry, too. And then they should have a baby.

An ex-girlfriend gave me two very different answers on two different occasions when I asked her how many people she had slept with before me. Should I press her on this, or is it her business?
If you are out of high school, there are other things to discuss. Instead, channel the question to your reading group by asking, "How many books have you read?" Let that be your marker of inadequacy instead.

What books or magazines should I have around my house to up my sex appeal to visitors?
No metaphysical or self-help. Martha Stewart is a deal breaker. You want to have a few casually stacked on the bedside table, like Metropolis — "I know so much about cool building shit!" — and Dave Eggers to show your too-smart, boyish, sensitive side. If not Eggers, Jonathan Safran Foer.

My girlfriend and I only have sex once or twice a week. She thinks that's enough, but I want more. Should I be grateful for what I get?
No, you should get a new girlfriend. One who likes to read less in bed.

What's the secret to good head?
I like to preface the act by saying, "You are so fucking lucky."


Jeffrey Lewis, 38
Bluestockings, NYC
www.bluestockings.com

I'm dating a girl who likes it rough, but I feel weird being overly aggressive during sex. Is it normal for women to have what seems to me to be a rape fantasy?
I think it can be fine and healthy to play any sort of game, including rough sex. But really the question is, are you uncomfortable doing it? If you're uncomfortable, don't do it.

What books or magazines should you have around your house to up your sex appeal to visitors?
In terms of magazines, Butt and Girls Like Us. Butt is for homosexual men, but girls are really into it. As far as books go,The Almond, by Nedjma. It manages to be both a pretty amazing little story, and smutty at the same time.

My girlfriend and I only have sex once or twice a week. She thinks that's enough, but I want more. Should I be grateful for what I get?
There ain't no "shoulds." Except maybe you should get into another relationship if you're dissatisfied with the one you have.

If you think your new girlfriend might have mixed feelings about your porn stash, how should you let her know about them?
I think if people like porn, they shouldn't be ashamed of it. I don't know if keeping it on your kitchen table is the best idea, the same way you don't walk around naked. But I think if you're involved with someone, it's a good idea to let them know what you're into if you want to have a good relationship.

Which books do you recommend to help improve someone's sexual life?
The Ethical Slut: a Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities by Dossie Easton.

Where is the best place for public sex in the city?
Brooklyn.


Brook K. Stephenson, 33
McNally Robinson Booksellers, NYC
www.mcnallyrobinson.com

I think my new girlfriend might have mixed feelings about my porn stash. How should I let her know about it?
You hide it right out in the open. Then sit her down, look through it with her: [flipping through a magazine] "Looks good, looks good. Maybe you'd like to try that?"

What books or magazines should you have around your house to up your sex appeal to visitors?
Purple magazine. Nylon Guys. Nylon for women.

My girlfriend and I only have sex once or twice a week. She thinks that's enough, but I want more. Should I be grateful for what I get, or should I be getting more?
Once or twice a week — you should be getting more. If you're getting it three or four times, ask for five or six. If you're getting five or six, try for seven or eight. Or ask for nine or ten. "C'mon, baby, please." You always gotta push for more.

What's the secret to good head?
Tongue exercises.

What is your signature move?
Counter-clockwise, with a twist.

An ex-girlfriend gave me two very different answers on two different occasions when I asked her how many people she had slept with before me. Which one's the real one?
Take her first answer and double it.

Once again, Henry Rollins talks sense.

From TowelRoad, posted 10.10.07 (continued after the jump).

Former Black Flag frontman and talk show host Henry Rollins is touring the country with a spoken word show called "Provoked". He spoke recently with the Cleveland Free Times about why he cares so much about gay rights.

Said Rollins: "I think it's really lame what's going on with those that are gay and I'm not gay. I was raised around gay folks. I was raised in the DC area. There are a lot of gay people there. My mom had gay friends. I had gay bosses. I worked at a movie theater and got propositioned four times a weekend. It was like, 'You like boys; nah, it's not going to be me.' I never wanted to kick some guy's ass. Some guys are creeps. But when you see the kind of hatred exacted at these people who can't help how they feel about men, it's sad. What if it was weird to be straight? What if someone said, 'What's wrong with you?' for staring at a woman? I think if Bill and Tom want to get married, they should be able to in America. If someone has a problem with that, go on your way."

He also had a few words about Senator Larry Craig: "It's really ironic but if someone is gay, he should be able to express himself and not eat hand grenades every day. He [Craig] is an older guy. Coming out was not an option for him. He had to be so suppressed and so he married a woman and procreated. It's too bad that's the life he had to live, and it's especially weird if he voted for anti-gay legislation. If you put your hand under the men's room stall, that's not going to go quietly in the night. The hypocrisy is obvious in his case. I'm being easy on the guy and I shouldn't because he's an asshole."

Great Chicago Novels

Via Book Slut, from Chicago Magazine, 11.07.

THE LIST The question grew out of an everyday bull session: What are the great Chicago novels? We asked a range of knowledgeable academics and literati and put together the results. It's a collection of powerful writing that stands up against the best in American literature. Here, the list in order of publication

THE NEW SCHOOL Chicago lit lives! Doom and gloom persist, but humor and nostalgia lighten the load in these five recent novels with a chance to become classics.

VOTE The experts have spoken; now it's your turn. Which book do you think best defines the city?

I want a unicorn...NOW!

The Atheist Delusion....AND The Atheist Delusion 2: Deluded Mailbag. Probably old news to you.